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[May. 14th, 2005|05:03 pm] |
i feel so gah.... no one tells me anything anymore. marta moved away and i don't know anything, and shahanna and i aren't really friends, but it bugs me now that those two are all buddy-buddy and it pisses me off. and supposedley she got arrested cause she cut herself and it's illegal down there. ohm y gosh, i'm like a statue, and feel very unwanted. everyone just ignores me. and right now i feel like lena but ugh! i really do feel unwanted. i'm not like her who feels unwanted cause she not getting all the attention. i feel unwanted cause i'm not getting any.
and i don't know why but everyone is pissing me off lately! i mean i don't have a best friend. one who i can sincerely call one. i mean i think this person is my best friend and then we just fall apart. maybe i'm meant to be a loenr. i mean i like it that way, but i need friends to thrive. eh i'm out... madep lans with kristen tonight. gotta call her and check. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2005|03:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | sailing~nsync | ] |
thw whole month of april was a blur. nothing much happened, except i made faith! and i really want to do good, but i also want a new gown and don't want to look so fat, and most of the people in rainbow are wicked fat. but i'm the biggest out of all of them....
yeah but now i have a b in geometry so i can take up my extra yoga class. that class is lots of fun. i love my teachter. but ya'll hear my rant about that in school. hah well i have to go, cause i have dance tonight and rainbow this weekend, so i'm going to go do my homework. i'll see you later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2005|02:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crummy | ] |
so i got my new glasses. not wearing them til tomorrow although i should try them out today, but the guy said do it tomorrow, so that way i'll have an easier time getting used to them. and they're in new frames. which totally wasn't what i thought was going to happen and which sucks cause to heave them put lenses in MY glasses, i'd need to pay 165 which is crapola. so i'm going with these new but ugly frames.
and i'm getting a bad grade in geometry. nothing is going right in that class. i mean i'm working my ass off. and i really am. i mean yeah i miss a couple homeworks every now and then but i do it. and i study for my tests and quizzes, and i'm still getting a bad grade.
and nothing is going right lately. and it's just horrible. and i made this journal so no one would read it but now i really want people to read it. i mean i added me to it and had this name added to my friends, list but still this is nuts....
i need a vacation.........which starts next friday, which won't be good cause i get my report card that day. and WHY CAN"T I GET HONOR ROLL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! i work my ass off! i really do and some people think i don't like my parents, but that's not the point. this is ridiculous. and in geomety i don't get the stuff we're getting because she barely taught it, yet everyone is getting it! and everyone is getting a better grade than me and half those people don't do anything. and my teacher knows i'm trying she just doesn't want to admit it.
and she's not gonna give extra credit. so i'm screwed. looks like college is just gonna be too much and i'm gonna end up like my parents. |
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| i hate being a loner. |
[Apr. 13th, 2005|09:55 pm] |
i don't know what to do.... i don't have a social life with any of my friends. I mean i have grace and ree after school on mondays, wednesday, and everyother friday night. then there's grace on saturday. monday nights is jazz, tuesday is tap, and thursdays are rainbow.... i have no life. my only open day is sunday. and that's spent doing nothing.
i feel really out of the loop lately too. like everyone's hanging with everyone else but me. i mean i don't know maria or marta anymore, and shahanna and i were fine but we're not. well we're not really friends so i don't give a shit. then there's sarah.... idk with her anymore. or bethany. but i see beth like everyday unlike everyone else.
and andrew.... idk where we stand. he's so cocky. and he's really different around his 'different' groups of friends. it's nuts. and that emily canalaz chick hates me, but it's okay. i don't mind cause she's a snob anyway.
and my section in band hates me. i don't fit in... or really have any friends. and i've gotten over tom but yeah... no one talks to me. i mean even though mike goodie's not in my section all of a sudden he started talking to me today. i guess i'm a geek to him. he took out his sock and started doing 'this little piggy' and i don't know... i know it was to kind of make fun of me... it was crap. and that just proves that i'm a loner.
but i can't let last year repeat itself! i can't. but i have to go cause it's 10 and i need sleep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|08:55 pm] |
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well why do i even bother with my friends? |
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ballerina07's journal